Nick and Kelly, The Fox and The Hound revisited
by TheWriterWithWings
Summary: When Kelly, the boy who left his hometown after having been attacked for his sexual preferences, returns as a man, the past collides with the present only to prove that the future is what we made of it.
1. Chapter 2

Kelly Abbott always enjoyed driving long distances. It was something relaxing, strangely exhilarating. To hit the road, to find one that would go straight ahead, to watch the landscapes change along the way.

He had turned off the radio a while ago to enjoy the silence only altered by the powerful purr of the engine. He caught himself humming a song he had heard a hour ago, something about a guy returning home.

He chuckled. Well, that wasn't really appropriate, was it?

He stopped humming as he saw the Michigan board on the side of the road. Something seemed to drop deep into his stomach and he cleared his throat before shaking his head.

"Man up, Kel. You're a big boy now.", he told himself before leaning with his elbow against the driver door. He scratched his temple before rubbing his forehead. Yeah, it has been so long since he had hit this particular Interstate. So long since he had thought of this place.

Funny how he had managed to forget everything, good and bad memories, and how they all seemed to come back at once.

He glanced at the passenger seat and saw the letter that was staring at him. The letter the lawyer taking care of Mrs Ollister's daily administration had sent him to notify Kelly from her passing away. And telling him that he was her only heir. She didn't possess much but she had made sure he would have it. Him who always had been her 'favorite' and her biggest pride.

His eyes darkened with sadeness and he focused back on the road.

The funerals were planned for later this very day and he had insisted to be there, to say good bye to her, to the closest he ever had from a mother. He remembered her gentle smile, her apple pies and the afternoons spent drinking iced teas under the porch while watching thunderstorms.

He should have called her more often.

He should have visited her. But they both had known all along that he wouldn't, that coming back to Charity was something he didn't want. And something she would never ask.

Charity.

"Oh Hell", he muttered under his breath.

This damn town.

Never a town had been so bad named in his opinion.

He had been brought there when he was five by an aunt who wanted nothing more than to ditch him as fast as possible. He was the son of a too young mother who had stopped caring about him the second he had been out of her, if he got the story right. She disappeared not long after with one of her countless boyfriends and no one had heard of her after that. The rest of her family had made sure that no one would hear of him either, bringing him to Mrs Ollister after his grandmother and a friend of the old lady had passed away. Even if his Granny had raised him in the first years of his life, he barely remembered her. Mrs Ollister was a widow, in her fifties already when he had been dumped so to speak on her doorstep. She had never been blessed with a child as she told him many times, her husband passing away in a mine accident not long after their wedding and Kelly had been the blessing she had waited for so long.

A late blessing, indeed but a blessing anyway.

She had been the one bringing him to school, the one getting up at night when he had nightmares, the one comforting him when he was hurt.

And even after he had left Charity, she had been the one he had called every week with the regularity of a clock, even if it was just to say Hello, because no matter what, she had always been 'Home'.

He sighed and his fingers started to nervously tap the steering wheel.

It was odd to think she was gone. That he would never hear her voice again.

The day before, he had grabbed his phone by habit, to call her before suddenly remembering that she wouldn't answer and staring stupidly at his phone.

This would take a while for him to get used to her absence. Because even miles away, she had never been very far from his heart.

And even if he hated Charity, she was not the only good thing he had missed from there.

The landscapes shifted again and more familiar sights came to meet him on the road.

Wasn't that the old sugar factory? Yes! But she looked abandoned. Impressive, almost fightening, curled up under the horizon, like a large beast ready to attack.

And there, he could see the old clocktower they had explored when they were twelve. The one where Nick almost peed himself when a raccoon had jumped out from nowhere and chased after them.

He laughed at that memory.

Nick.

Yeah, that guy was linked to most of his best memories here. It was his best friend back there, his partner in crime. His associate.

He drove over a small bridge and gasped. He knew that place!

He parked the car on the side of the road and got out, cringing as he realised his body was crispated by the long driving.

He stretched up and looked around.

If he wasn't near the old dam, he would be damned.

He trottled back to the bridge and looked above the edge, a large smile forming on his face.

"It's still there!', he almost shouted before climbing his way down, his feet gliding along the humid soil of the edge.

"News flash, a ER doctor from New York falls into a ridiculously small river and breaks his neck. Locals react shocked. "What the Fuck was he doing here?" More details in our evening edition", he joked to himself just before reaching the dam.

There was no real solid dam here, of course. But this was where Nick and him had built one decades ago. And there, on the bottom on the small river, for who knew what to look at, a line of heavy stones was bravely trying to cut the flow even if the water was blatantly ignoring its efforts. Kelly smiled bigger and lurked to watch it.

"That's crazy….", he muttered. A loud music suddenly echoed around him, almost making him lose his balance so close from the muddy edge of the river.

He cursed and pulled out his phone from his pocket. He grimaced as he saw the name of the caller on the screen.

"Fuck.".

He took the call, his free hand hanging from his knee, his fingers lazily caressing the top of the high grass surrounding him.

"Kelly? Kelly, are you there yet? You okay?"

A male voice resonated into his ear. One he didn't really want to hear anymore.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm almost there. I told you not to worry, remember?", he said calmly before picking up a small rock and throwing it in the river.

The man on the phone was a nurse from the ER. One that had told him months ago that he was looking for some company after the long hard shifts at work since their rythmn of life didn't let much space for getting out and dating. Flirting at work was risky as Kelly didn't want anyone to know his inclination for men. Not because he was ashamed as he had always assumed who he was and what he wanted. But because he didn't want to be 'that' doctor who was treated differently because he was gay.

His preferences had no influence on his work or his abilities and his private life was something he wanted to keep private.

The nurse had assured him all he wanted was sex without complications.

Now Kelly knew that the real meaning of that was more complications than sex. It had been fun at first. It was nice to have someone to go to to unwind and get rid of the stress and the frustration. Someone to hold and someone to be held by. But when the weekly 'I want you' booty call texts turned into daily 'I need you' ones, Kelly had pulled away.

He enjoyed being wanted. But being needed was a whole different level of intimacy he was not ready for.

"I know. I know. But you there in that shitty town full of haters is a good reason to worry, Kel.", the man said.

Kelly deadpanned and sighed loudly.

Once. Once he had drunk too much and told about the reason he had left his hometown. Of course he had to tell that to the only freaking guy who would remember every personal detail he was told. One who knew when to throw it into the conversation to show he knew.

"I'll be fine, Doug. I'm not a kid anymore. What do you want exactly?", he growled. He was aware this sounded cold but he had tried the nice way, the 'I'm, ignoring your calls' way and even the 'This is over so stop talking to me' way but nothing seemed to work.

Doug didn't want to let go and kept calling his /his/ guy.

But Kelly wasn't the type of guy to be owned by anybody.

Now he was starting to get annoyed by the stubborness of the man and even if he didn't want to sound like a jerk, it was clear this was the only option left.

A short silence answered him, followed by an offended huff.

"I just wanted to check on you, Kel. I do know you need no one. But I wanted you to know that I'm here if you need. So if you feel sad or…lonely...I have a few days of vacation over if you want me to...'

"No", Kelly interrupted him. "I don't need you. Not here. Not in New York. we talked about this. I'll be fine. Thank you for your concern. But stop calling me."He turned off his phone and stood up with the urge of throwing the damn phone into the water.

He grunted and made his way up back to the truck. He didn't need the stress right now.

He opened the passenger door and grabbed a bottle of water. Leaning against the truck, he opened it and took a gulp, eyes closed, trrying to relax again.

Yeah, no reason to hurry. He was just back in Hatersville where the boys play football and the men use their fists to make sure to keep the youth straight and polite.

He remembered that lesson all too well.

And it was too late to stop that memory.

It happened a few weeks after his seventeen birthday. He wanted to buy himself a truck so he could drive outside town more often. Even if Mrs Ollister had offered to go to town to see if they could find a second hand truck she could afford, he had refused. He knew she hadn't much and she had given him so much already that he had insisted to work after school to earn his own money.

Mr Seedlers had hired him to help at the local bar/restaurant/dancing (in this town, every place had slashes in their names and mutliple functions, it was /that/ kind of small town).

His work was to basically clean up the tables, wash the glasses, repair what needed to be fixed and take the trash outside. Mr Seedlers was a decent man. He always send Kelly home before the heavy drinking clients started to flood the place. Not because he was concerned about the kid, more because he knew Kelly had a smart mouth that many drunk dudes couldn't handle well.

Kellly was working well and hard. He didn't mind the heavy liftings or the dirty jobs. He was actually good company if you could deal nwith his sense of humor and sarcasm. Mr Seedlers knew that. He was trustful and honest, something the man could appreciate.

That night though, Kelly had been walking around with a weird feeling in his guts. He was feeling strangely agitated without knowing why.

The place was only half-crowded. A few guys from the school's football team were there, playing pool.

Some of the popular guys from school Kelly and Nick stayed away from because those guys were jerks. Kelly was good at sport but he wasn't interested by it at all, which was the worst crime you could committ around here.

Well, the second worse to be exact.

Bobby Briggs, Captain of the local team and the quarterback who was supposed to bring the cup home this very season was there too. A few times, Kelly had caught the football player staring at him while he was busy with moving beer craddles from the reserve to the counter, making the stock full for the night.

He thought he knew the reason for Briggs's sudden rise of attention. The week before, while he was having lunch on the schoolyard with Nick, Howie Addison, a pal of Briggs, had jumped on Kelly and asked him why he was flirting with his girlfriend. Kelly had laughed and pushed the guy away. The girl was just the one he had to do some stupid science project with and he had to spend the whole week with her at the library after class to work on it. She was a cheerleader. This was eenough punishment for him without having to deal with her boyfriend's jealousy on top of it.

When Howie had insisted, Kelly had shrugged, conscious that everybody was looking at them, expecting a fight. Howie was much bigger was him but Kelly knew he probably could take him just by being smarter. Which wasn't difficult.

He had winked at Nick before simply answering Howie that no, thanks. he wasn't interested by his girl. Or by any girl actually.

Of course it could have been enough. But something mischievous deep inside had pushed him to add that Howie had a nice ass now that he thought of it but that the lack of brain attached to it was making him unfuckable according to Kelly's very strict standards.

The commotion caused by the openly revelation and the provocation of the joke had been enough for Howie to punch him in the face and walk away like his ass was on fire.

As Kelly was rubbing his sore eye (that had been the most spectacular black eye of his life at this point since he wasn't aware he would get beaten up way more severely the week after), he had to face a stunned Nick with a hanging jaw.

"What?" he had said to his best friend. "I just told the truth.'

He had eaten half of his sandwich before Nick had finally recovered the ability to speak. "I'll make sure that will be what we'll put on your tombstone. 'I just told the truth'...You're suicidal', he had muttered. Kelly had laughed and shrugged the discussion away.

He had known how he felt about guys around his 13 and he had simply gone with it. He hadn't worried about it nor had he been living in fear to say it one day. But obviously it was harder for everyone else to accept what felt natural to him.

He remembered he had been relieved that Nick knew and was still around though. Since they were kids, Nick and him were spending most of their free time together. Building tree houses or space shuttles in the woods. Telling each other stories. Growing up making plans for the future, a future that would always involve them being together on adventure and, for some reason Kelly had forgotten about, surrounded by dogs. Nick had a thing for animals. Probably why he liked Kelly so much. Kelly remembered the skinny guy pretty well. His image was engraved in his memory. They were the same height which was handy when it came to borrow each other's clean clothes after an afternoon digging up treasures or building stuff. But outside of that, they were completely different. Kelly was a comedian, easy going and with the ability to come up with the craziest ideas. Nick was more a quiet dreamer, one who had given up on trying to reason Kelly about his crazy ideas, following him more by habit than by real conviction. Kelly knew how devoted to him the guy was and there was not much he wouldn't do for Nick either.

But that night, Nick wasn't there. And the way Bobby Briggs was looking at him, Kelly thought that he was going to pay for his radical honesty.

He had tried not to worry about it and to focus on his work.

Around midnight, Mr Seedlers had thanked him and asked him to take the trash out before going home. The place was getting full with locals who needed their Friday Night drinks. Fridays were always busy as it was the day before the football game.

As he exited the place, he could hear the laughs and the loud voices behind him, happy to shut them all up by closing the back door behind him.

The trash bags were heavy and he had to drag them behind the reserve before dumping them into the large dumpster.

He tensed as he felt someone being him and silently cursed at his stupidity. He had felt relieved too soon apparently. The night could still bring some trouble.

As expected, it was Bobby he found standing there behind him as he turned around. The guy was alone, which genuinely surprised Kelly. He had expected idiots to travel in pack.

Bobby was an attractive guy. Tall, dark hair, clear eyes…. but too full of himself to have real friends. He was the Captain of the team, assured of having a future everywhere football was a religion. So basically all over the damn country. He was always surrounded by the other players or by cheerleaders. And so far, he had always acted like he only aknowledged Kelly's existence when he needed to get some trouble. Kelly's smart mouth and the way he didn't give a damn about popularity seemed to particularly annoy the quarterback.

"Was it true?", Briggs asked in a low tone.

Kelly hesitated. Being a smart ass now wouldn't spare him the trouble. It wasn't worth it.

And he knew exactly what it was about.

He closed the dumpster and wiped his hands over the back of his pants.

"Yeah. It is. You have a problem with that?", he asked calmly.

"Don't fucking play me, Abbott', Briggs growled.

The quarterback was standing between him and the exit of the dark alley. Kelly cleared his throat and took a few steps forward, pretty sure Briggs wouldn't let him pass but determined to try.

"Oh so you know my name? Wow...I feel so special now.", he joked. He remembered how Nick had warned him that he should stop saying things that would explain his cause of death on his tombstone, that oneliners were less funny when they were the last thing someone had said before getting his ass kicked to death.

At that thought, Kelly had laughed before being shoved quite forcefully against the wall.

Well, Nick was right after all. His big mouth was about to send him to the hospital this time.

But before his brain could process what was happening, the quarterback kissed him fiercely.

He remembered how he had stood there, his hands up, while Bobby's started to be all over him, under his shirt and soon struggling to undo his pants.

Kelly was still too stupefied to react or even enjoy it at first. This was so unexpected that he was still wondering if this wasn't some kind of sick joke.

But Bobby had pulled away just enough to whisper against Kelly's swollen lips. "C'mon, babe. I know a place we can go. C'mon...Just you and me…" before kissing him again, his hand finding Kelly this time.

Kelly remembered how being called 'babe' by the most popular guy in the freaking town had finally pulled him out of his state of stupefaction. How he had thought that this indeed felt good….but it didn't feel right. He couldn't ignore the effect Bobby's hands and mouth on him made him react but this was just too weird to be real.

Obviously, Briggs was offering him sex in some place no one could see them...because it would be the end of his world if he got caught fucking a guy in a dirty alley.

But who was Kelly to refuse? Especially in a town where he so far had been convinced he was the only one of his...well, 'kind'.

He had kissed Briggs back and the quarterback had moaned. Oh gosh, that moan had literally echoed through the alley and given to Kelly the right motivation to go on. His hands had moved to the guy's shirt, clenching on it before turning them around. He pushed the quarterback against the wall and kissed him harder, encouraged by the guy's hands cupping and squeezing his ass.

Fuck the right feeling. He wanted to make this real. It was once thing to know you were into guys. It was another to have one right there, so close, /wanting/ you to prove it wasn't just words. Even if Briggs wasn't the one he wanted, Briggs was the one here with him, the one touching him in ways that could numb Kelly's mind enough to stop caring about the who and focus on the now.

"What the fuck is going on here?", a voice had pierced the silence around them as a man appeared in the end of the alley.

Obviously, the man was trying a place to take a piss and had found more than he expected. Briggs had panicked and cursed, pushing Kelly away as soon as he could, hard enough to send him against the other wall. He started to adjust his clothes, eyes down, cheeks burning red.

.

"Bobby? Bobby Briggs? What the hell, boy….", the man had cursed. "GUYS, COME OVER HERE", he yelled. Despite the darkness of the alley, Kelly had seen the panick and despair into the other guy's eyes.

He sighed and stayed where he was, his back against the wall, his eyes on the quarterback. He almost felt sorry for him before remembering that he should worry about himself more.

"Well….if that isn't that little piece of shit living with that ol'crazy Ollister woman…." Another man had appeared, flanked by another.

The first man shouted.

"And that's Briggs! That weasel was all over him, Sheriff!"

Kelly closed his eyes. This was going to get nasty. No one in town hated him more than the Sheriff O'Flaherty. Ever since he was a kid, Kelly had spent his time avoiding the man.

Which wasn't easy as he was his best friend's father.

The sheriff came to stand between him and Briggs.

"Bobby….you shouldn't be here. Big game tomorrow...let me guess. This little failure made you drink, huh? Then he dragged you here? You can have all the girls you want, Bobby. That one...is too ugly to be caught with. Cuz that's what you are, Abbott, right? A freaking ugly whore. Without balls."

Before Kelly could move, the sheriff had grabbed his shoulders and kicked him between the legs with his knees, so hard all the air left Kelly's lungs and red spots started to dance in front of his eyes when the pain washed over him.

The sheriff shoved him back against the wall and growled.

"Bobby, get the fuck out of here. You've never been there, ya hear me? Don't make me tell your dad what your type is...Or he will ask me to cure you. Like I'm gonna cure this one as well."

Bobby had glanced toward Kelly and their eyes had met. Kelly didn't expect him to stand up for him. After all, Bobby was the town's little treasure. Kelly was just….Kelly.

Both of them knew that what was going to happen was unavoidable anyway. But the quarterback seemed to hesitate, his eyes darting from one man to another. Like he had enough common sense to think that three against one was a guaranted slaughter. Kelly read it in the way he was moving from one foot to another. Was he considering raising the score to three against two? This would only make things worse. Kelly knew that.

'..' was nice….talking to you….", Kelly had stuttered between two waves of pain. Their eyes met again and Kelly shook his head once. "Go', he mouthed. Like it was all Briggs was waiting for, the player turned away from Kelly.

He saw Briggs running away. Out of the alley. And out of his life.

Kelly had no idea what had happened to him after that. Because that night had been the last he ever spent in Charity.

The 'correction' had been severe. Brutal.

At the end of it, there was no spot, no muscle, no bone that didn't hurt. He had been left there, in the alley, bleeding and coughing. The pieces of glass from a broken beer bottle so deep into the skin of his chest that he could feel them whe he managed to take a breath, the broken ribs making him regret he could still inhale the filthy air.

Unconsciously, Kelly's hand flew toward the old scars on his side, the ones he could feel under his shirt. That night had stayed with him forever. Maybe he had managed to keep that memory locked but the scars on his skin hadd been daily silent reminders of it. He had simply trained himself to stop looking at them. They were a part of him but one that never got a voice.

The three men had left him there, leaving him behind probably feeling satisfied and proud of themselves. The sheriff had announced that they all deserved a beer or two now that they had taught the faggott the lesson he had to learn.

They had even gotten him silent at some point. And that was the only thing Kelly regretted. He wished he had yelled more. Told them what they were. Betrayed what was happening in the back alley to show people who they really were. But nobody wanted to hear.

And nobody bloody cared.

It was Mr Seedlers who had found him there a few hours later. Mrs Ollister had alerted him by telling him that Kelly wasn't home. She had woken up in the very early hours of the morning as always and as always she had checked on him only to find an empty bed, sign that something was up.

No matter what mischief Kelly and Nick were working on, Kelly always made sure to be back in bed before she checked. So she knew that something was up. She had called Seedlers at his home and insisted the man looked for him.

It was him who brought Kelly home, him who had to endure Mrs Ollister's pressed lips and trembling anger as he helped to put Kelly in bed. Him who had called the twon doctor.

They had taken care of his wounds and she forced him to tell her what had happened.

And he had. After the doctor left.

He never mentioned Briggs though. Not to protect him. But because it would only make things worse. The sheriff hadn't been out to get gays. He had been out to get /him/. To give him the correction he thought he needed for years. And for what? For being different? For being too close to Nick? Kelly had never known. In his opinion, the sheriff only needed someone to hate and in his bad luck, Kelly had been the chosen one.

She had promised not to make a scene at the sheriff's home but only at the condition that he'd leave town, to spend his recovery at her nephew's home, a retired fireman from New York.

At first, Kelly had thought that she was repudiating him. But when he saw her tears, he had understood.

She wanted to protect him. She knew.

Knew that once the violence starts, it never ends. That the next time, he might not be able to breathe at all.

And with a heavy heart, he had accepted. He didn't want her to live in the fear that he had met his end in another alley. Not after all the sacrifices she had made for him. He knew he wouldn't be able to change enough to avoid troubles. Because so far, he had been in trouble only by being himself. There was no correcting that.

Later that day, a concerned Nick had showed up at the house while Kelly, sitting on his bed, his back against the wall, holding his chest with the one arm that wasn't broken, was watching Mrs Ollister pack his belongs with an empty look. He had heard his father talk about a correction and he had known immediatly who had been injured. Nick had always feared that day, the day his father would get his hands on Kelly. The sheriff had never raised a hand on his own son but nevertheless, his son knew more than anyone how much rage and violence was crawling under his father's skin, a rage that Kelly seemed to suscite by just breathing. And here he was devastated, covering his mouth every time he would spot another wound, another blue mark on his best friend.

Kelly sighed and wiped a tear away from his cheek before staring at it drying on his hand with a surprised look. How long had he kept this memory away? How long had he pretended he had forgotten?

His best friend had asked him to stay. Apologized for his father's brutality. Promised to protect him better.

Kelly wasn't mad at him though. The widow and Nick were the only two persons he truly loved in this world. And one of them would never be aware of that.

Mrs Ollister had left the room silently as she knew Kelly had to say goodbye. And that Nick wouldn't want to hear that goodbye no matter what. He had reassured Nick that he would be okay, that it wasn't Nick's job to protect him. But nothing he said could soothe his friend's pain and seeing him trembling without being able to comfort him had hurt Kelly more than all the sores and aches he was feeling back then.

So Kelly had done the only thing he could think of. As Nick was sitting next to him, craddling his head in his hands, Kelly had watched him like it was the last time he would see him. He had that devastating feeling that it wasn't just an impression.

He had managed to get up only to see through the window of his bedroom Mrs Ollister placing his bag into Mr Seedlers's truck as the man had accepted to drive him to the train station. Kelly had no idea how he was supposed to survive such a long way alone, not with his body begging for him to stop moving and a headache that was maybe just a sign his brain was trying to take an unnatural direction. He had been tempted to ask Nick to come with him. To leave this shitty place behind them. But Nick had a family here. He had a life here.

A life Kelly would never be involved with because his father would never allow it.

Kelly had asked Nick to get up. Nick had complied, looking down. Kelly had made him look at him by placing his index under the guy's chin. And without another word, he had kissed him. Carefully at first because he wouldn't survive another beating. More tenderly as Nick didn't fight it. Kelly had made that kiss last as long as he could, not too long either as he was scared Nick would pull away first. How it would have been hurtful to see a disgusted grin on that boy's face. But poor Nick hadn't moved. He was probably too overwhelmed and shocked to react properly. When Kelly pulled away, Nick's eyes were closed and Kelly didn't ask him to open them. Who knew if Kelly had been to leave if Nick had opened his eyes at this moment and asked him again to stay?

Kelly wasn't sure that kiss had been a good idea.

But he needed that. To take that with him. The thought and the memory of that one kiss with the taste of a life he couldn't afford. And that kiss….it felt good AND right. So right it broke Kelly's heart.

Nick still hadn't moved when Kelly had stepped back and as far as Kelly knew, he was still standing there in the middle of the room when Kelly had climbed into the truck after a last hug of Mrs Ollister.

Kelly rolled his head back and leaned the back of it against the cold metal of the truck. He stared at the grey sky while waiting for the memories to fade away.

"What am I doing here?", he asked the clouds.

Now Mrs Ollister wasn't here anymore and Nick….God, he was hoping Nick had managed to escaped Charity at some point. That he was happy far away from here.

Meaning that there would be no one to welcome him back to Hatersville.

He sighed again and climbed on the drivers seat..

He glanced at the letter again. All he had to do was to sort out all the belongs of the widow, to make sure all her treasures go to people who would take care of them. To find a realtor to sell the house. He had already decided to donate the money to some organization busy with foster kids. He had been one of them after all. One lucky enough to be raised by an adorable and kind hearted old lady. He had finally taken the three weeks of vacation the hospital had been trying to give to him for ages. If he managed to do everything he had to do in town fast enough, he could maybe drive all the way to the Grand Canyon and stay there for a few days. Maybe a week. Some hiking and time to bury the memories of his past life in a honorable way would be all he needed before going back to his new life, away from this place.

This would be the last good bye he would ever made in Charity. And he intended to never come back in this cursed place ever again after that.

"After that, you can wipe the damn town from any map for what I care", he muttered as he started the engine.

It took him another half a hour to reach the town. He didn't have the time to stop by Mrs Ollister's house so he drove directly to the cemetary and parked the car in a nearby street. His throat was tightened and he wasn't sure it was only sadeness. Being here, back in Charity was harder than he had imagined.

He got out of the truck and looked around. The main buildings were still the same, only the shops had changed. The trees in front of the school were gone, replaced by a large park. There was a massive mall trying to hide behind the church. The rest was pretty much the same.

He walked toward the back of the truck and opened his bag. He pulled out a white shirt, still packed in plastic, that he unwrapped slowly. He pulled off his tee-shirt and threw it in the back of the truck before putting on the dressed shirt, adjusting the sleeves with infinite care. It took him more time to put on the tie though. That was something he would never wear. But Mrs Ollister had always insisted he would wear one at church so he couldn't possibly skip it. He opened the suit bag to take out his suit jacket carefully and checked his reflection in the closest shop window he found. That should do it, he thought.

He turned off his phone and shoved it into the pocket of his pants then, with a sigh, he turned toward the cemetary next to the church. There was a small crowd in front of it already and he walked toward it while scanning the faces. He couldn't recognize anybody yet and that was a real relief. Just before he joined the people, they started to enter the cemetary to go stand around a gravehole and a white coffin covered in flowers was waiting next to it. On top of it, there was one white and black picture and beyond the grave, Mrs Ollister was smiling at him, welcoming home one last time.

He stopped thinking about the people there and walked straight toward the coffin. The tears in his eyes were threatening to escape but he took a deep breathe and smiled back at the picture. He placed his hand flat against the top on the coffin, ignoring the curious look of the preacher on the other side of it.

"Hey, Momsy…", he whispered. "Love you."

He closed his eyes to imagine her saying "Love you more" like she used to and did every time at the end of their weekly call. He sighed sadly and opened his eyes again before stepping back and going to sit on the first row next to the man he recognized as Mrs Ollister's lawyer. The man leaned in to say something but Kelly shook his head. He didn't want to talk now. He wanted to stay silent. Mostly because he was really about to cry like a kid.

He was an orphan now. That was how he felt. An orphan surrounded by strangers.

The ceremony went slowly and he barely heard the words is the preacher anyway. Instead, he was staring at the coffin and remembering all he could, suddenly afraid to forget something important or anything at all.

He could feel eyes on him but he didn't care. He wasn't here for anybody but her.

At the end, they all got up and went one by one touch the coffin to say goodbye until he was the last one there outside the gravediggers and the lawyer.

The man sensed that Kelly wasn't ready to have a conversation so he told him that they would meet the next day at the house. Kelly gave him a nod and felt the man slide keys into his hand.

He lowered his gaze and recognized the keychain. It was the one he had given her the day of his graduation at the med school in NY, the emblem of the university. She had kept it all this time. He could imagine the keys hanging next to the door where she would always put them, where she could see them from the old leather couch. They keychain was old and rusty but still, the thought of her cherishing such a stupid little thing just because /he/ had given it to her achieved to destroy the last remains of his bravery and he started to cry silently.

Only the soft trembling of his shoulders and his hand above his eyes could betray him right now if anyone was looking. He cried until he felt just a little better and got up, his shaky legs rebelling for a bit before obeying. He walked to the coffin again and placed a kiss on his fingers before running them over the picture.

"Thank you….thank you for all you did for me. For the love. The pies. The support. For being my home. My family. I wouldn never be where I am now if you hadn't been there. Good bye. Rest in peace….and keep watching over me, yeah? With a guardian angel like you, I should be just fine. Just….don't leave me completely. You're the only family I ever had."

He stood there a little longer before exhaling longly. Then he nodded toward the gravediggers and turned away to walk toward the gates.

He passed them without looking back and noticed a few people hanging around in front of them. One of them, an older man, stared at him for a moment and he mumbled something he couldn't hear. A giant guy next to him nodded politely toward Kelly and Kelly frowned slightly before nodding back. the frown didn't leave his face as he walked away.

Well, that was weird. Somehow, the stares and the nods were creepier than the rain of stones and insults he had expected. Maybe the lawyer had put something in the water. A calmative. Or a laxative. For what he cared. He stopped next to his truck and looked back. The men were now walking toward the restaurant next to the church where Kelly supposed the old women of the town had made coffee and pies for everybody attending the funerals.

Only the giant….Kelly couldn't help but wonder what the hell they had been feeding this one with...seemed to follow reluctanctly. He saw him holding the door for the men and looking back at him again.

"Yeah…..", Kelly muttered. "No need to wait for me, Bigfoot, I'm not going in there. I am quite attached to my limbs, thanks a lot", he added to himself before pulling on his tie. He threw it in the truck and looked around him for a bar. He needed a drink. Or five.

He spotted one at the corner of the street and walked toward it while taking his phone and turning it on.

Three missed calls. Doug. Doug..and Doug.

He scowled and rolled his eyes before putting the phone back inside his pocket.

Well, make it six drinks after all.

Playing with the house keys in one hand, his thumb rolling over and over the keychain, he reached the bar and walked in, standing at the entrance for a minute to give his eyes the time to adjust.

The place was dark and outside the bartender, there was no one else.

"Well, well, well….if it isn't Charity's surprise 'Welcome Back, Kelly' party comittee….", he commented.

The bartender looked at him and arched a brow.

"Excuse me?", the man asked.

Kelly chuckled and waved at the empty room. "Don't mind me, I was just saluting the crowd and trying to avoid the confettis." He made his way to the counter and settled on one of the stools.

"Bourbon, please. Make it double."

He took off his jacket and placed it on the stool next to him before leaning on the counter, his hands in front of him, the keys between them. Then he allowed himself to breathe more calmly.

Kelly Abbott was back in Charity.

What could go possibly go wrong?

He was sure not to want to know the answer to that question.


	2. Chapter 1

"Abbott…..Abbott, wake up. We have an arrival in less than ten."

Kelly Abbott woke up with a grunt as someone was tapping his shoulder repeatedly. He opened his eyes and grunted again, louder this time. He threw his legs to the side and sat up his mind still cloudy. He rubbed his eyes with his palms before looking up to see his colleague, Dr Richard Carter, standing in front of him.

"Arrival...Tell me it's breakast. How late is it?" He asked as he stretched up. The other man shook his head and snickered.

"Gunshot injuries. Another Friday night downtown. C'mon, Sleeping Beauty. It's 5am. You look like shit, just so you know."

"Even my shit looks better than your face, Dick", Kelly answered. 5am. He had slept for 40 minutes. Longer than he had expected. His 12 hours shift was almost over. But those 40 minutes had been the only ones he had spent sleeping for the last 48 hours. Not even a personal record.

"Oh shush. I should take a pic of you and send it to Jenny so she would stop bugging me about how handsome you are." Carter joked.

"Hey, your wife has taste. I /am/ handsome. Send her a pic and tell her to warm the bed. I finish here and I'll go at your place so she'll get something pretty to look at when she'll wake up for once.." Kelly commented as he got up from the couch he had fallen asleep on in the resting room of the E.R.

Carter snorted and pushed him playfully before opening the door.

"Dude, I have no problem with you snuggling the wife. She's safe with you, you grumpy queer".

Kelly narrowed his eyes and pushed the guy back before passing the door. Banter was the base of their friendship, something that helped to stay awake and sharp. None of the men would ever let the other have the last word and when they were both on a twelve hours shift, it was something helping them through the quiet moments. Even if those were rare. .

Kelly pulled out a couple of gloves from a box hanging on the wall before shrugging.

"Would /I/ be safe with her? Man, your wife is crazy about me. And since she's the one with the balls at home, with enough booze she could end up being my type…. maybe I should let her have her way with me. Just to piss you off."

"You bastard.", Carter replied before taking gloves as well. "If you weren't such an asshole, I would doubt your gayness."

"Gayness?", Kelly laughed. "Is that an official word? Anyway, if the kid she's about to give you looks handsome and crack jokes five minutes after being born, we'll know Jenny molested me that night I passed out cold on your couch. I remembered I felt funny the morning after. If so, I'll sue you both. Her for abusing me, you for...well. Being you."

The other man laughed. "You felt funny because you were hangover, Abbott. That counterfeit whiskey we drank that night was lethal. My farts smelt like gazoline for a week after that.", Carter continued.

Kelly gave him an exaggerated horrified look. "Man, you're disgusting. How you managed to marry such a lady like Jenny is beyond me. And when I think you're about to become a father….Hell. Now I really hope Jenny abused my handsome self that night and that this baby is mine. You're an awful...awful human being." They reached the entrance of the E.R but the ambulance bringing them the injured patient wasn't here yet. However, sirens were echoing through the very early morning and Kelly shivered. It was cold. Autumn would be here earlier this year. The chilly wind welcomed both doctors with a strong embrace.

"If that kid is yours, Kels, I'll drop it on your doorstep. I have to deal with you at work way too often. A tiny version of you would be too much to handle. I'd rather raise a bunch of enraged bulldogs.", Carter retorted

They were now working together for four years and became friends. Long hours and entire nights of insane work had created a bond. Richard Carter liked the young doctor, one of the most talented of his promotion. They were never spending a day without insulting or picking on each other but it was their way to communicate. Carter was a smart man, spiritual and devoted to his job. His wife Jenny had been so surprised to hear him talk about Abbott so often after his long shifts, to see him laugh as he remembered one of the other jokes they had been telling each other that she had insisted for her husband to invite Kelly over for dinner. Carter had complied, telling Jenny that there was something singular about Kelly though. The guy was charming, social, funny, always in a good mood but for some reason, Carter had felt something somber about him. Something he could put his finger on.

Kelly had accepted the invitation and the three of us had had a lovely night. They had laughed, dined, drank and when Kelly had left, Carter only had to look at his wife to see that she as well was fond of the young man. But as they were both cleaning up the dinner table, Jenny had confirmed Carter's impression. There was something deeper behind the jokes and the smiles. Kelly had a sad look on his face whenever he thought nobody was watching. Jenny had decided that they would have to do something about that. But along the years, she and Richard got used to this untold part of Dr Abbott. Now Jenny was eight months pregnant, feeling like a stranded whale, happy about the future child but tired and cranky. That thought reminded Richard that she had sent him on a mission. Asking (in Jenny's language, it meant 'demanding') Kelly to be the godfather of the unborn child. It had been an easy choice and the first name coming into their minds. A way to offer Kelly to have a more official place in their family. Family was a sensitive subject for Kelly, Richard had noticed. But he had his ways to escape any kind of conversations about that. Richard never insisted. He assumed that Kelly would talk about it someday. And if he didn't...well. They all had that particular chapter of their lifestory that they'd rather not share.

A year ago though, they had met his adopting mother, a very kind and old lady, fierce and dignified.

As they were waiting there for the ambulance, shivering, the cold wind killing their joking mood, Richard glanced at his colleague and friend and remembered in which circumstances he had met Mrs Ollister.

A year ago, they had a very busy time. The ER were daily flooded with countless patients. On days like these, you didn't have time to joke or even take a piss. Someone always needed you somewhere and when it was crowded, the ER were not a nice place to be. Injured patients cumulated with the frustrated sick people who had to wait way too long, ambulances feeding the flow, it was impossible to explain to someone who didn't work there how you could keep your head clear while taking life saving decisions one after the other without a hesitation, like it was the most natural thing to do. Richard loved it though, the adrenaline in his veins keeping his thoughts clear and organized. Kelly and him were a good team and that's also why they were doing most of their shits together. There was a balance, a synchronisation in the way they were dealing with patients. Kelly was excellent at treating heavy traumas while still keeping in mind his other less important cases. He had a natural talent for motivating the troops and even if he was completely unaware of it, his presence acted like a real calmative middle. When Doctor Kelly Abbott told you you were going to be okay, you believed it. No doubt possible. He had seen the young man managing to calm down hysterical patients just by talking to them and he was a pearl whenever a completely flipping kid was brought in. His charm was working even on very young patients as it seemed.

Richard on the other hand, was the Chief of the interns, calm, stern, organized. He knew every rule, every protocol by heart. He had years of experience in surgery and he had taught a lot to Kelly as well. He was the guy you needed when shit hit the fan to keep everything rolling smoothly even on crazy days like that. He was also the one able to keep Kelly in check, especially when Kelly went in what Richard was calling 'the stuntman mode'. .Saving lives was their job, yes. But they had rules to follow. And sometimes Kelly needed to be reminded of that. Even if the guy was charismatic, he also had a remarkable talent when it came to make enemies. How many times had Richard to go behind his back settling things with the people his friend had pissed off? Way too often. But in every case, mostly about Kelly forcing expensive tests because he had the conviction he knew what was going on in a particular case, his decisions had been right. He had this instinct about diagnoses that was almost scary sometimes. A skill that didn't work well with procedures and protocols. Richard had once told him that he couldn't just do whatever he wanted only because he knew he was right. All Kelly had answered was "Then tell that to the people who're still alive because I'm a stubborn ass." And it had been pretty much the day they sealed that silent deal. Kelly made the diagnoses and raised hell to prove it right. Richard would handle the collateral damages.

That day, a fight had started in a nearby neighborhood. Gangs at war. One of the injured young gang members had been brought in and Kelly and Richard were in charge. Richard had intercepted the patient at the entrance. Kelly who was busy with treating a bunch of scoutgirls vomitting and crying that they were going to die just due to a food poisoning had joined him in the room as soon as he had heard what the case was about.

"What do we have?" Kelly had said while a nurse was helping him with putting a proper blouse on (Richard could imagine what had happened with the previous one, he had heard Kelly scowl five minutes earlier after one of the girl had puked on him).

"Were you not busy with something?", Richard had joked before giving him a short recapitulation.

"Two gunshots, one in the chest, one in the stomach. One out, the other is still inside. Heart rhythmn dropping. I bet you a hundred we have a bleeder." Richard said as he examined the young patient. He frowned and shook his head before starting to remove the bandages that the medics had set to control the hemorragie.

Kelly came to stand on the other side of the table and cursed. "Fuck...how old is that kid? 12? Soon you'll see freaking babies shooting at each other;", he grumbled before working on trying to figure how to save the kid.

An alarm echoed next to him and he called "Oxygen is dropping. He's getting hypocolemic. I'd say that's a too easy bet. Let's see how bad this is and I'll tell you if we can fix another miracle. How many this week?"

"Six", a nurse replied dryly next to them. The Gang War was a plague and it was getting worse lately. The gunshoot injuries were becoming a daily scenario.

Kelly watched closely the screen of the echo as he scanned the chest. "Crap. We need to drain him. The bullet is way too close from the heart. We'll never get him stabilized if we don't open him. Call the O.R, tell them to wake up, we'll send him in as soon as…..C'mon….", He plunged three fingers inside the chest wound and Richard followed the results on the screen.

Kelly was making faces due to the concentration, eyes half closed as he was focusing on what he felt under his fingers. Then he found it, that familiar pulse and liquid warmth. He twitched his fingers expertedly and turned his head toward the heart monitor.

"I got it. Artery sectioned. I need the clamps."

Richard understood what Kelly had done. With his fingers, the guy was now holding the severed artery, keeping it squeezed to slow down the bleeding. Smart. It was definitely quicker than opening the chest. Not really by the books but in the E.R, you needed to be resourceful.

He grabbed the clamps on the plate next to him. "You managed to slide your chubby fingers between the ribs, I'm impressed." He humored before holding the clamps to Kelly. But when he did, the nurses gasped, looking horrified at something behind Richard. The doctor saw Kelly's face, jaw clenched and his body tensing. And he slowly turned around

"GET AWAY FROM THAT TABLE….DO IT OR I'LL SHOOT YOU TOO"!

A young man with a haunted look on his face was standing at the entrance of the emergency room, a gun pointed at them. The boy was covered in blood, blood coming from a large wound on the side of his head. He pointed his gun at Richard and yelled again.

"NOW. I SWEAR, I'M KILLING YOU ALL. BACK OFF". The boy was shaking and waving around with his gun. Richard held his hands up and took a step aside, to place himself between the boy and the nurse behind him.

"Calm down….Listen, you put the gun down. Nobody needs to be injured, alright? We'll all do what you say", he offered as calmly as he could.

The kid looked at him and shouted again that they had to back off, to walk away from the table where the patient was with Kelly next to him.

As nobody moved, too shocked to react, the boy pointed the gun at Richard again and shot him with an enraged scream.

The blood in Kelly's veins turned into ice as he saw his colleague and friend stumble and fall, his hand flying to his shoulder. One look at him and Kelly was sure the bullet hadn't reached any vital organ. Not as you knew the bullet had gone through Richard's shoulder to end up his course into the wall behind him, just a few inch above the nurse's head.

"Get back...all of you", Kelly said with a very cold voice. The nurses obeyed immediately and the one behind Richard wrapped her arms around the man to help him up and away from the table. Only Kelly hadn't moved, his hand still half inside the other boy's chest.

"Hey, you idiot...'He growled. "You put that gun down. Shoot any other people of mine and I swear to God, you're dead."

Richard widened his eyes. What the Hell, Kelly, that's the last thing to say to a crazy shooter!, he thought. He was about to say something before realising what his colleague was doing. His eyes caught a motion behind the door of the room. The curtains on the other side of the glass wall moved slightly. There was someone behind it. Probably a cop. And Kelly was trying to get the shooter's attention to distract him from whatever was happening outside. And from anybody else but him in the room. 'Don't play the hero, Kels', Richard thought.

The boy snickered and walked toward Kelly before pressing his gun against the doctor's side.

"You jackass don't tell me what to do! I told you to get back, fucker! You want me to shoot you too? Huh?""

Kelly didn't move, only a cringe on his face betrayed his anger as the boy pushed the gun against his ribs again.

"Get the fuck out of my way asshole! I have a job to finish. They'll get me if I don't so don't play with me, ass, you get that?", the boy spit out at Kelly.

Richard met Kelly's eyes and what he saw frightened him. Kelly had no intention to move, no intention to freaking realise he was going to get shot if he kept being stubborn. He smiled at Richard and Richard shook his head slowly. Don't play hero, Kelly. I don't want to have to tell Jenny you're dead, he told himself again in the hope Kelly would get the message.

"I also have a job to finish, dickhead. if I move, that kid will bleed out and die and since that's what you want, you bet I won't give you that pleasure", he answered between gritted teeth.

The shooter looked at him, stunned. He seemed to hesitate but then he raised his hand and hit Kelly hard in the head with the side of his gun. Richard jumped forward but the shooter pointed the gun at him again. "Don't fucking try me!", the shooter warned. Richard stepped back, realising how close the boy was from Kelly right now. If he shot him now….

Kelly took the hard blow without a sound, his head flying to the side and he kept it that way for a second or two, his face away from the shooter, until he stopped seeing red spots dancing in front of his eyes.

He spit on the floor and cracked his neck before looking back at the shooter, his hand still inside the patient's chest. His arm was getting tired as he had to maintain it at a weird angle so his fingers wouldn't slip. He wouldn't keep it much longer, that he knew.

"That's all you have, really? You hit like a girl. Now….get the fuck….out of...my ...E.R". He growled, breathing deep between words. Richard knew him enough to realise it was to keep calm and alos probably to win some time. Where were those damn cops? He motioned discretly to the nurses to exit the room through the other door as the attention of the shooter was entirely focused on Kelly. Richard's shoulder was killing him but he was refusing to let his friend alone.

"Kelly….Maybe you should consider doing what he asks you to", he said pointedly.

"Richard, get out of here. I'm handling this, making new friends and all. Get. Out.", Kelly replied, his eyes now staring at the shooter's face, the shooter standing dangerously close, his back straight, like a fighting cock reading to attack.

Kelly spoke again, addressing the shooter.

"Listen, you genius. You just forced your way into a hospital shooting and waving your gun at people. Shoot me all you want, shoot that kid again. Go ahead. You're dead anyway. They'll never let you leave this hospital alive, you do realise that? You're fucked. Finished. Your only chance is to put the gun down now and my buddy there and me, we'll put a word for you to the local attorney. With a little luck, you'll escape the death penalty so I'll live with the satisfaction of knowing your sorry ass being manhandled in prison every damn day by a giant dude named George. So do that. Put the gun down now and I'll even send you some lube in jail to ease the lovemaking. What do you think? You're going to shoot me while I have my hand inside another loser like you? How brave. Bet your mommy is proud of you…..Or you're going to wait till the cops storm in and paint the walls with whatever there is left of your brain?"" he almost whispered at the shooter.

Richard frowned as he saw that Kelly's other hand was busy with something behind his back, away from the shooter's eyes.

What the hell was he up to now?

The shooter hit him again and this time, Kelly scowled.

"F….fuck! Stop hitting me in the face, you moron. I have a date tonight.' He grunted and gave another look at Richard. Then to Richard's horror, Kelly winked.

The shooter was now more than furious. He grabbed Kelly's hair with the intention to put the gun into his mouth and shoot him at point blank rage but then Kelly's other hand flew across the hair and he stabbed the shooter's neck with a syringe before injecting some white liquid into him. Then he headbutted him hard. The shooter stumbled, and Kelly whose nose started to bleed heavily bended over the patient to grab the clamps left on the plate by Richard earlier. He quickly put the clamps into place before pulling out his fingers and once finally free, he turned around to face the shooter. The boy was holding his hand against his neck and the hatred in his eyes began to blurry as the morphine injected by Kelly was flooding his system.

He pointed his gun at Kelly again.

"You...fucker...what did you...do to me?"

Kelly tilted his head and glanced at the door again. That would be the perfect moment for the cavalry to make an entrance, he thought. But the door didn't move.

The shooter on the other hand, stumbled back into the wall behind him, his gun still waving in Kelly's direction.

Kelly was completely stupefied and his head was pulsing so hard he thought out loud.

"Oh for God's sake, I injected you half the bottle, how can you still stand?", he commented with an offended tone in his voice.

"Fuck you…" the shooter said before shooting him and passing out, his body falling hard on the white floor, a few feet away from Kelly.

Richard jumped as the shot echoed in the room. He was behind Kelly, only seeing his back. He was still standing up so maybe the shooter….

But as to prove him wrong, Kelly started to collapse. Richard hurried and after a look at the shooter to be sure he was out, he kicked the gun away from the boy before opening the door. "Shooter down! I need help in here!" he yelled before forcing himself to turn around. He didn't want to. He didn't want to watch Kelly Abbott die.

He rushed toward Abbott who was holding his stomach, a blood flower blossoming on the blouse he was wearing. He threw himself on his knees to check on Kelly.

"Kels...Fuck, you idiot...I got you. You hear me.? I got you, you stubborn son of a bitch. I forbid you to die. Jenny will kick my ass if you do." Talking was helping him to calm down. The room gets filled with nurses and cops. He gave a furious glance at the last ones before focusing on Kelly.

"Someone needs to check on the other patient! Call the O.R, we need one for the doctor Abbott as well, come on, people!" he ordered.

Kelly was pale and silent in his arms. And his silence was too loud for Richard. Nurses and doctors surrounded them and helped Richard to place Kelly on a table. A nurse tried to pull Richard away to check on his shoulder but he shrugged it off. He needed to be sure Kelly would be okay first.

Kelly didn't move for a moment then his voice echoed through the room.

"I got shot because... I'm a doctor. Always thought….I'd get shot for….being a handsome fag."

Despite the shock and the stress, Richard laughed briefly. Kells was still there, joking even when his life was threatened. He stopped moving from a moment to lean over Kelly and talk to him.

"You got shot because of your big mouth. That guy got to do what everybody here dreams to do for ages. To shut you up, you imbecile. Now I'm going to fix you up because the world needs pains in the ass like you. And because if you die, Jenny will kill me. And I would have to kill you too.."

Kelly snorted and coughed with a painful grin.

"You love me….", he humored weakly. "Does your wife know?", he coughed again and Richard smiled before looking around at the worried staff.

"Kelly Abbott, ladies and gentlemen, the guy even guns can't shut up. Book him for parties and celebrations. Guaranted fun all day long.", he announced before checking on the vitals.

"He's stable. We send him upstairs now. Warn the anesthesist that he'll need some seriously strong drugs to keep that mouth shut long enough."

The nurses start to move the table but Kelly grabbed Richard's wrist.

"Hey, Dick...how's the kid? The one we treated…." Richard stared at Kelly before sighing. He looked back at the other room before leaning over Kelly. "They're taking care of him. Means he's still alive. Your stubborness saved his life. Don't you ever do that to me again, Abbott. Next time a guy with a gun tells you to back off, you do so!"

Kelly nodded before grunting. "Alright...Get that shoulder taken care of. You're bleeding all over the place, that's ew.", he managed to say before his eyes closed, the drugs finally kicking in.

Richard watched as they took him away, amazed and amused. That was typical of Kelly, to make him laugh even through the worse. He suddenly wondered what had happened to Kelly in the past. That haunted look on his face, the one both him and Jenny had noticed, Richard had seen it on Kelly's face again after the shooter had hit him the first time.

It wasn't fear or sadeness. It was deeper than that. The look of someone who had been broken once and sworen to never be broken again.

It was not anger. It was determination.

Kelly Abbott, Richard was sure of that now, had been a victim. A prey.

The jokes, the apparent carelessness, it was just a cover. Something he used as a shield.

Someone had gotten him on his knees and not in a fun way. And now Kelly was determined not to be a prey anymore. And that shooter had learned it the hard way. Now of course, Richard wondered if that determination was not something to worry about. Kelly had acted like he'd rather die than being threatened and forced to step back. Like he didn't care to die as long as he died standing up.

That feeling had grown stronger over the years. Richard and Jenny had 'adopted' Kelly in a way. They had met Mrs Ollister after Richard had convinced Kelly to allow him to call her to tell her what happened. The lovely old lady had completely charmed Jenny and Jenny had invited her to stay with them as long as Kelly would be at the hospital. Richard had lived three heavenly weeks made of homemade pies, roasted chickens and daily visits at Kelly who had to endure the reproachs, the glares and the overly kind cares of the old lady and Jenny. He remembered how the old lady had hugged the life out of Kelly on her first visit to him, thanking God for watching over her boy right before poking him hard in the ribs and yelling at him for playing the 'heroic imbecile'. Watching Kelly acting like a little boy every time Mrs Ollister would throw a fit about him almost getting killed by being stubborn or about him not letting the nurses do their job, was simply priceless. He had even witnessed Mrs Ollister grabbing Kelly's ear to bring him back to bed as she had caught him at the cafeteria way too soon, ignoring the scowls of a guy who was taller than her. He had almost peed himself the day Mrs Ollister had heard Kelly call a medic visiting him 'fucker' and refused to believe it was an affectionate nickname. She had chased Kelly around his bed to force him to apologize for his rudeness to a medic who of course pretended to be offended only for the fun of it. Kelly had refused to apologize and Mrs Ollister had given him an evil glare before turning around to ask the medic if he was gay too so he could 'confirm her that being gay didn't give you the right to be rude'. Kelly had choked and she had tucked him in bed before getting out of the room under the impressed and bemused looks of the entire team.

Mrs Ollister was a great and kind woman, that was for sure. And she cared about Kelly more than about life itself. During the entire time she stayed with them, she had counselled, advised, helped and comforted a lot of people. Like Jenny when this one had told her they were trying unsuccessfully to have a child or that patient in the room next to Kelly who had survived a car crash and making nightmares. Even if he denied it, Kelly had taken a lot after her in the way he was dealing with patients. His infinite kindness and patience were a complete opposite of the very talkative and insubordinate side of his personality. He could switch from annoying brat to funny carebear in seconds. And after having met Mrs Ollister, Richard knew from who he had learned that. The love between Mrs Ollister and Kelly was overwhelming, no matter how bad Kelly was trying to hide it under a thick layer of sarcasm and banter. A mother and her son. They felt closer than that. Maybe, according to Jenny, because Mrs Ollister wasn't really Kelly's mother. They had built a bond stronger than motherly love from scratch. It was love indeed. But with a tenderness created by two beings that had to tame each other, to discover each other. She had given him a home and he had given her a son. It was precious and pure. Now of course, Richard had never said a word about this to Kelly. He didn't need the denial act to prove he was right.

And now here they were, a year later.

Kelly had been back at work only six weeks after the shooting. He was getting restless and impatient. Richard had put a good word in the favor of his early return to the Hospital board, first because Kelly had almost begged him and two, because he knew Kelly needed to keep busy to maintain a certain level of sanity. And also because Jenny who had found out she was pregnant had decided to take Kelly with her for baby stuff shopping. A terrified Kelly had called Richard to tell him that he would do anything, really anything if his colleague would save him from that.

Something about being the only guy prisoner of a world inhabited by women sharing stories about giving birth and determined to get him a date. Richard had played with the idea of letting Kelly suffer a little more but he wasn't a complete jerk. Shopping with Jenny could indeed get really terrifying. And awfully long.

The ambulance arrived and the back doors opened, stopping Richard's train of thought. Both Kelly and him rushed forward to take care of the patient. They brought him and worked together in perfect sync, hands flying over the patient, orders getting called, beeps rythming their strange choreography.

There was a rumor about Kelly's possible promotion as chief of the E.R. Something Richard could only approve of. Even if Kelly hated paperwork, he was the most skilled and perfect fit for the job. He would have to talk with him about that. Kelly tended to underestimate himself sometimes but Richard was convinced that of the guy wanted to, he had a whole successfull career ahead of him.

A nurse came in and called Kelly.

"Dr Abbott, there is someone on the phone for you. They say it's important." she said loud enough to cover the noises inside the room.

Kelly grinned before bending his knees to check if the drain he was pushing inside the patient's side was following the right angle.

"I'm a little busy now….I'm in!", he announced before straightening his back again. He glanced at the nurse and said; "Do they say what it's about? Take the message anyway. I'll call back whenever I can".

The nurse seemed to hesitate before continuing.

'They say they're a lawyer from Charity, Michigan. They insisted that you needed to take that call." A cold chill ran down Kelly's spine and he almost didn't hear the other nurse calling out the heart rhythmn dropping and quickly after, the cardiac arrest.

Without thinking about it, Kelly climbed the first bar of the table and started the C.P.R, feeling Richard's eyes on him.

"Put them on the speaker', Kelly said dryly, his eyes focused on his hands pumping on the patient's chest.

"Kells….", Richard said calmly. "Let me take over. It's imp…" Richard offered but Kelly shook his head.

"No...It's probably nothing, yeah? Probably nothing." Kelly repeated breathlessly before pausing CPR and checking the monitor.

It was Kelly copping with the incoming bad news, Richard knew that.

He sighed and nodded toward the nurse. "Do as he says. We're here.'

Soon after, the nurse came back into the room and pressed a button on the wall. Kelly was now off the table and he glanced at her, his eyes empty of any emotion. He cleared his throat and resumed the cares to the patient.

"Doctor Abbott? I'm sorry to disturb you at work but this is really important."

A male voice echoed through the speaker. It was the kind of over polite tone that generally was the sign of unpleasant things about to be said.

"Is she okay?", Kelly asked. "Just tell me. Is Mrs Ollister okay?". Only Richard knew him well enough to notice that tremor in his voice.

The nurse called the cardiac arrest again and again, Kelly climbed up for the CPR.

A silence responded him and it felt like for a few seconds, the entire world had stopped breathing, waiting for the man on the phone to speak,

"I'm sorry, Dr Abbott. Mrs Ollister passed away last night. As you know, her heart condition had gotten worse lately. And...my sincere condoleances. May I ask you to call me back at a more adequate moments so we can settle a few details?".

All eyes were now turned to Kelly who didn't react. He was still pressing and releasing the patient's chest forcefully. His jaw was clenched and Richard had the feeling he was trying to control his emotions, to not show them. It was typical of Kelly. If he spoke now, it would be to crack a bad joke only to break the tension in the air. One of the nurses, the one that had been there during the shooting, covered a sob with a hand over her mouth. Richard would bet that everybody in the room was dying to hug the doctor, himself included.

As Kelly remained silent, Richard spoke for him. "He'll call you back later. Leave your coordinates to the reception. Thank you for calling", he said dismissively.

He took a step toward the table and checked on the vitals. Only Kelly's pressures were registered, there was no sign of cardiac activity. "Timing is a bitch", he thought before cupping Kelly's hands with his.

"Kelly….stop. It's over. Go get some air, I'll call it. Come on, pal…", he said gently. He had to call Jenny. She would find the right words to comfort Kelly. He always sucked with that.

Kelly pulled away and stared at the patient. He climbed of the table and looked up at the clock.

"Time of death: 6.53am."

His gaze flew over the people around him, all eyes on him and curiously, even if Kelly was charismatic despite his denial, even if he was always the funny handsome guy, even if he always ended up being in the middle of things, he hated being the center of attention. He hated this, the pity in people's eyes when they were looking at him. He hated to be looked at because he didn't felt seen.

But right now, he didn't care. He pulled off his gloves, threw them in the nearby trashcan and exited the room without a word. Everybody watched him leave and only then, the nurse allowed herself to cry more openly. "Mrs Ollister was a fine woman, I met her….Poor man." she sobbed.

Richard felt immensely sad and powerless.

As far as he knew, the old woman was the only family Kelly had.

He gave a few instructions to the nurses in regard to the patient and followed Kelly. He saw him on the parking line, lurking against a wall, his head craddled in his hands. In the way his shoulders were jumping up and down, there was no doubt that the news had finally hit his heart. A tear rolled down Richard's cheek and he wiped it away hastily. Fuck. Now he was getting emotional as well. Probably a side effect of Jenny's pregnancy, he lied to himself.

If he had to be honest, over the years, he had started to see Kelly as a younger brother. More than a friend, he was family. And you couldn't let family down.

He pulled out his cellphone to call Jenny and explain her briefly what had just happened.

"I'll try to convince him to come home with me; I don't want him alone tonight. Can you fix us some dinner? And beers. We'll need it." he told his wife.

Then he walked outside to stand next to Kelly. He didn't say a word as he knew there was nothing to say. But instead, he rested a hand on Kelly's shoulder to let him know he wasn't alone.

And he would stay like this as long as Kelly would need it.

That's what a brother would do, he assumed. So That's what he would do. As simple as it may seem.

"You have everything you need?", Carter asked as he watched Kelly throw his bag in the bag of his truck. It's been two days since they got the news about Mrs Ollister's passing. Kelly had needed some time to organize himself and take a temporary leave from the hospital, which had been easy since he had a lot of vacations over. In the meanwhile, the lawyer had sent a letter with all the legal and necessary informations. That letter had not left Kelly's pocket ever since.

"Yep. Except a baseball bat and a taser but your wife said that wouldn't be a good idea. She got me two hundred sandwiches for the journey instead. The woman probably thinks I'm going to Alaska or something." Kelly answered. He opened the door of the truck and put the bag of the sandwiches on the passenger's seat. He then sighed and leaned against the truck. Carter watched him closely. Kelly looked exhausted. He probably hadn't slept much the last couple of days. And since he had been working on a twelve shift hours just before hearing about his adoptive mother, Richard couldn't help but to worry.

"You sure you don't want me to come with you? I could drive half the way so you could get some rest, Kels", he offered again like he had being doing for two days.

Kelly shook his head.

"Thanks. But your wife is about to burst and pop you a baby. You have to stay here and you know it. Are you worrying about me? I'm just going to Michigan, you know. I'll probably be the most dangerous thing walking out there. If..you don't count wild animals. And rednecks.", Kelly said with a forced cheerfulness. He paused and narrowed his eyes. "Although….I'm still not sure I should renounce on the taser thing.". Richard knew the man was joking. Well, he was almost sure of that.

He leaned against the truck next to Kelly and shoved his hands into his pockets before speaking again.

"What happened there? I know you don't like to talk about it but in the four years we worked together…..you never spoke about it. It's obvious that something bad happened. Bad enough for you to never return home even if you were missing Mrs O. Kels….You and I are friends, right? Hell, I see you as family. If there is something bad for you out there, I can come with you. Jenny's due is in three weeks. That gives me some time. I mean that.", Richard said as calmly as he could.

Kelly stayed silent for a moment and Richard hoped he hadn't pushed too much all at once. But what he had said was true. They were friends. And Richard had the feeling that his worries were grounded. Maybe Kelly wouldn't answer but Richard was free to ask after all.

Kelly seemed to think about it for a while before sighing tiredly.

"Remember the scars on my side you asked about when we were playing basketball behind the hospital on our first year?", he asked.

Richard remembered that. It had been one hot summer day and the E.R were quiet. Kelly and him had decided to waste some energy outside as they were both getting restless. At some point, Kelly had removed his shirt and Richard had spotted a web of thin, white scars on his side, just under his chest. They were covering his entire side, some larger than others. He had asked about it without really thinking about it. Doctor's reflex.

"Yeah...you said you got in a fight in an alley when you were young.", he remembered.

Kelly nodded slowly and looked away.

"Right. That's the version I usually give.", Kelly retorted.

Richard frowned and glanced at him but he said nothing as he expected Kelly to carry on.

"I got those scars the day before I left Charity. I was 17. It happened in the alley behind the bar I was working at night to spare some money for my first truck. I was...not very popular in town. Big mouth, gayness...the whole package was hurting the local sensibility . They were three. Sheriff included. I was alone. They did most of the fight, I only took the blows.". He paused and snickered.

"They cut me with a broken beer bottle to make me apologize for being a fag and thank them for teaching me otherwise. You know me. I refused. They must have understood I wouldn't do what they say. So they beat me some more, they got bored and they left me there. Momsy made me leave town the day after. She was scared they would do it again. And that it would only get worse the next time. So I left. And I never went back. Not because I was scared. Just because….", he shrugged and sighed again, kicking dirt with the tip of his shoe. "...I promised her I wouldn't look back. That I would do something with my life, great enough to shut them up the day I'd return. At first, I was terrified to have to face life alone. I was angry because I felt like they had won. I was out of their sight and away from everything I cared about. It took me a while to find my way. I did a lot of stupid things before Charlie, the man who welcomed me after Charity, decided to kick my ass and force me to think about the future instead of being stuck in the past. He always said that I didn't die that night so I had to stop acting like I did. You can imagine the rest."

Kelly stopped talking and focused his eyes on his feet like he didn't dare to look at Richard again.

Richard remained silent at first, trying to process all the informations. He felt angry, disgusted. What kind of assholes would do that to a kid, damn it?

He rubbed his chin before speaking.

"Well...at least it explains why you never give up easily. I'm n ot going to say I'm sorry since it's those bastards who owe you that; But….hey. look at what they did. They gave a great doctor to the world. Such a treasure couldn't possible stay hidden in Michigan", he joked before patting Kelly's shoulder. Kelly finally looked up and tried to glare at him but he half-smiled instead.

"You jerk. You're just jealous because I'm handsome and talented. So don't mock me.", he grumbled.

Richard rolled his eyes and gave the guy a one arm hug.

"Oh shut up. I'm not mocking you. You're good. I'm sincere there. And don't expect me to give you compliments just because you got beaten up in the past. In my eyes, you proved everybody they were morons. And that big mouth of yours got you shot already. Now we're just adding more reasons on your account to learn how to tame it.", he humored. He mowered his voice and continued. "My offer still stands though. If you need me to come with you…"

Kelly nudged him and chuckled. "You're just trying to escape your duties. I'm starting to think you'd do anything to not be there when Jenny will give birth. Even a road trip with me."

\- You know Jenny and her cranky mood lately. I'm not thrilled by the idea of standing there next to her while she's screaming that I'm the one who put her in that situation while my progeny makes its way out of her belly. a road trip with you to Moron City sounds delightful right now."

Kelly laughed. He felt relieved that Richard didn't get sympathetic after hearing the truth. He didn't want his sympathy. They were friends, indeed. He was even grateful that Richard got him into another banter instead of asking for details.

""Man, she'd hunt me down to slap me with her uterus if you left her now to go with me. Sorry but you're grounded, Doctor Carter." He snorted and added. "But thank you. I appreciate the offer. I guess I just want to do this on my own. You stay here and take care of her. And….don't tell her, okay? I'll tell her myself one day. Perhaps."

"Damn it. Well, it was worth the shot. And okay. Thanks for sharing that with me. Don't you think I will stop threatening to kick your ass on regular basis." Richard said.

Kelly clapped in his hands once and shook himself up.

"Alright. Time to hit the road. I'll try to stay in touch. Can't promise you to call every day because the connection is probably shitty out there and we're not dating so you can live without me for a few weeks. I gave you the keys of my place, right? Don't touch my stuff.

-Oh Hell. Like I would want to find your stash of sex toys. Don't worry about that. I'll touch nothing but the mail and I won't go further than the hallway. You have my word".

The two men shook each other's hand and Richard gave Kelly another manly hug that caused the man to make a few other jokes about Richard being way too cuddlish all at once. He pushed Kelly away with a laugh and watched him get into his truck.

Kelly opened the window to say one last thing.

"If I'm not back in a month, call the army and tell them to nuke the place, yeah?"

Richard shook his head and waved at his colleague dismissively.

"Sure thing. Now go, Abbott. And take care of you, alright?"

Kelly started the engine and waved goodbye at his friend who watched him drive away, hoping that whatever guardian angel was watching over Kelly, it would make sure the man would come back soon and safe.

When the truck disappeared from his sight, Richard turned away to go home.

"Home is where the heart is", he told himself.

He couldn't help but wondering where Kelly's was. Maybe his friend would find out once in Michigan. It was all he wished to the man.


End file.
